Antonio Jacob Solis-Berger <3
Gratuitous Taylor Swift song…if you knew the week I’ve had…
You: What are you thinking about?
And how badly I want to lean the extra seven inches over and kiss you just to see what the hell happens.
Giving people who you don’t want to talk to a reason to talk to you since the advent of texting.
And I dream about you almost every night.
And I think I want to bring you coffee, just the way you like it, every single day…indefinitely.
- I could deal with the fact that you weren’t a night owl like me. I couldn’t deal with tantrums a four-year-old would envy because you were tired.
- You never let anyone comfort you. It was like you weren’t allowed to need help, ever.
- Waiting for you to answer me on the phone for more than a minute is the single most annoying thing I’ve ever had to do…and ad nauseam at that.
- You didn’t like to read.
- I don’t think you even know how to communicate with people in your life. I thought by being a communication major I would be able to help you and also be the yin to your yang. I suppose that part’s my fault for being so stupid.
- Was it too much to ask to return just ONE letter? I must have wrote you a dozen.
- I never cared that you had one, but why did you have to lie to me about it?
- We watched the Daytona 500 for eight hours. On Valentine’s Day.
- You couldn’t be troubled to get back to New York for our six year anniversary, even though you could have.
- And I can handle that you hurt me. I get that. I accept that. But you hurt my family too; a lot of people who really, really cared about you. You broke their hearts, too. And that’s not okay.
- You didn’t believe me, or even care, when I told you.
- You didn’t value a woman’s opinion as much as a man’s.
- Bob Dylan is many things. “Annoying” is not one of them.
- You did nothing but complain about my family gatherings and pout while attending them, when I tolerated yours with a smile.
- There was never “too” masculine. This translated to no emotions, other than jealousy, anger, and a desire to produce.
- You cannot make your own gravy from scratch with no spices and Bisquick for flour. Duh.
- The Phantom of the Opera is now completely ruined for me. Thanks.
- You acted physically invincible; even to the point of being obnoxious.
- Your sister is a mean, jealous, presumptuous shrew.
- Now, every time I hear “Baby, it’s Cold Outside” on the radio, I have to stifle the urge to vomit, have diarrhea and start sobbing. And it’s Christmas time.
- It was okay for you to drink until you couldn’t see straight, but if I had two beers it was unacceptable.
- You didn’t even keep the 11x14” sketch I made of us. It took me months.
- You never sent me a card on my birthday.
- I had to drag you to see my baby nephew, even when you knew how important he was to me.
- You didn’t want to dance with me at prom.
- You refused to shower with me.
- You wouldn’t smile in pictures, no matter how much I wanted you to.
- You cared more about cars than me.
- You are perfectly fine with never traveling outside the United States.
- Not once, during the six years we were together, did you say, “You look beautiful.”
- You wouldn’t cuddle while we slept.
- You hated Simon and Garfunkel.
- You acted like potheads were the world’s worst criminals.
- Your backrubs sucked; I thought my shoulder blades would dislocate.
- You never stood up to your family when they put me down.
- You couldn’t manage money worth a damn.
- You hated learning about history or going to museums.
- You didn’t appreciate anything I made, including the song I wrote for you.
- You thought most of my stories were dumb.
- You never did learn how to say you’re wrong, or how to say you’re sorry.
Is a boy
who thinks it’s nice to sleep on a trampoline